the only thing to fear…

…we all know the rest. as per usual, the universe has been conspiring to get me back to blogging. the flashing lights are coming from all directions, and as easy as it is to be lazy and make up lame excuses as to why i can’t write, i can’t ignore the signs any longer

so here it goes: a little over a month ago, i mentioned the life-coaching program i signed up for. despite finding the sessions to be insightful and inspiring, i myself have felt pretty stagnant. i often compare myself to my fellow trainees who seem to be so much further along in their journeys, and therefore get a little down on myself. but during our last session, self-pity just wasn’t an option. our fearless leader sort of called me out and devoted a good half hour of our ninety minute session to getting me to “dig deeper”. i dug til it was borderline uncomfortable, and then went home and journaled about it later that night, once i’d had a little time to reflect on what was talked about earlier in the day. what i came up with is that i am [still] approaching many aspects of my life from a place of fear rather than love. this isn’t exactly groundbreaking, as i’ve undoubtedly blogged about it in the past (probably more than once). but it was a helpful reminder that my default is fear. i won’t change this overnight, but if i recognize the pattern and attempt to change course, i will slowly but surely move towards making love-based decisions (or so i hope!)

so: the only thing to fear is fear itself. and by the way, because i still love to tap when i make the time to do it, my man brad yates has some great videos to help conquer the fear demon. i hope you’ll find them helpful. namaste my peeps.

write it down! part deux

i hate that i haven’t blogged in nearly a month. work and personal life have been so busy and i’m barely keeping my head above water. i feel like i’m in a constant state of motion, rarely taking a minute to just be with myself, quiet my breath, listen to my body and get my bearings. i was finally able to do so yesterday though, when i made myself sit still for a minute and think about an upcoming trip. i have to pack…a lot. i’m traveling for a wedding, but will be doing plenty of sightseeing and hopefully yoga. i only intend on bringing one suitcase, therefore need to be pretty strategic about what comes and what stays behind. so i did the thing that i often mean to do in life but get lazy about and don’t: i made a list. and before i knew it, i was almost done packing. it’s yet more proof of the power of writing it down. somehow putting it on paper makes me know i NEED to do this thing, otherwise i’ll feel like a failure. and let’s be real–no one wants to feel like a failure. granted, the fact that i was preparing for a very joyous occasion helped the process along, don’t get me wrong! but even on the rare days where i make a to-do list, i pretty much always cross every item off by day’s end. so big or small, write it down! in my experience, it will drastically improve your chances of success.

we’re all just doing our best

a friend often says that “we’re all just doing our best.” and it is so true. it’s like one of my favorite books, “everybody’s got something” by robin roberts: we all have our unique problems, and what may be a mountain to me might be a molehill to someone else, and vice versa. it’s so important when dealing with people that we try to remember that just like us, they too are battling their demons. and i think if we could be a little more open and honest about our respective demons (this doesn’t mean we have to overshare or tell everyone our life story) but if we could just acknowledge that like, “hey, i’m going through some shit today, please bear with me” if would be a huge help to our multitude of relationships. and also to ourselves! so much of happiness and serenity is being self-aware, being able to step back and say, this is how i feel. let me process this and figure out how to go back into the world. i’m continually learning how to do this.

this post comes about because a few things transpired to rattle me a bit over the weekend. when i hung out with a friend i was a little jabby and feel like i unfairly took out my frustrations on this person. i wish i had said, “listen, i don’t want to go into specifics but i had a bit of a rough day so forgive me if i’m not at my best.” instead, i kept my icky feelings to myself, and they made their way out in a not-ideal way. i genuinely did the best that i could in the situation, and so did the person who had to deal with me. but ultimately a miscommunication occurred and that was upsetting to me.

so the takeaway is: you’re going through some shit. so is he. and she. and that guy over there. and your boss/therapist/dentist/uncle. be kind to all of those people and remember that they too are all trying to muddle through this messy, confusing, sometimes scary, but most importantly, very-beautiful-if-you-stop-to-appreciate-it life.

finding your tribe

i recently took a pretty big step towards the “figuring out my life” thing and signed up for what i guess one would call a life coaching program. i used to think the concept was ridiculous: i’m an adult after all- surely i can figure out my own life! but what appealed to me so much about this program is the fact that it’s a group one, so every week i’m communicating with not one like-minded person, but nine like-minded, butt-kicking individuals from different backgrounds and with different interests, but ultimately with the common goal to make life better for themselves and others. we’re only about a month into the program, but i’m already finding so much inspiration in these people who have dreams of doing big things and contributing to the world in some positive way. meditation and yoga and whatever other solo practices i have are fantastic, but i truly believe that there’s strength in numbers. having a support system that understands where i’m coming from and where i want to go is more valuable than i ever could have imagined. it hit me this morning during our video conference: i had found my tribe. i have a few scattered friends who really “get” me, but it’s awesome to commune once a week with nine people who are totally on my wave length, and who have committed to support me in this process (and i in turn to support them).

if you haven’t already, get out there and find your tribe! it’ll make the journey that much more fun, inspiring, challenging, and rewarding. much love to my fellow game changers.

why the world needs yoga

and/or meditation. or any/all mindfulness practices: because of all the horrific news we hear every time we turn on the tv. most notably at the moment, of course, the innumerable shooting incidences right here in our own country. the yogi in me sees that these knee jerk reactions (i.e., the cop who assumes a man is reaching for his own gun and thus shoots him) are fear-based. the visceral reaction is, “this person is going to harm me”. and that is fear talking. what needs to happen is a massive shift in consciousness from fear to love, in which instead of assuming the worst, we expect the best (or at least better). i understand how that shift might seem impossible, precisely because of all the terrible stuff that happens in the world on a daily basis. but it is has to start somewhere. personally, i’m trying to be the proverbial “change i wish to see in the world” by not always being on the defensive (a stance learned from one too many years as a new yorker!); by not immediately and irrationally reacting to every little thing that i perceive as a slight. that could be anything from a friend making a slightly passive-aggressive comment, to feeling a bit uneasy walking past a shadowy-looking character on the street. rather than assuming that my friend meant to offend me or the guy on the street will attack me (extreme case, i know. i hear to many stories of this sort of thing happening in nyc), i’ll give both the benefit of the doubt. i won’t always be perfect at this, but i’ll try. by putting that expectation out into the universe that everything will be ok, hopefully the law of attraction will bring that to me in kind. and to you, too.

i went off on a tangent here, so back to the matter at hand: i know there’s a whole lot of love in the world but WE NEED MORE. any sort of mindfulness practice not only connects us to our own emotions, insecurities, and vulnerabilities and helps us to deal with them, but makes us aware of those same things in others. which allows us to connect with them on a human level. so often our interactions just scratch the surface and we fail to recognize another’s humanness. either because we’re scared, or self-involved, or just oblivious. i feel overwhelmed by the events of the past couple of days, so my thoughts and therefore my words are sort of all over the place. but the long story short is: choose love over fear. <3